Young caregiver puts his aspirations aside to support his mom

Twenty-five-year-old Phillip remains calm, levelheaded, and above all patient when it comes to being a caregiver for his mom, Lynn, over these last five years.

Their journey began after Lynn decided one night she was tired of dealing with extreme on and off pain and reoccurring medical problems and finally drove herself to the emergency room. After hours of testing, the doctor diagnosed her with multiple myeloma, bone marrow cancer, and a blood infection.

That first night in the emergency room was just the beginning of many such nights to come for Lynn and Phillip. From her first diagnosis in 2016 to receiving a kidney transplant a few weeks ago, Phillip has loyally stayed by his mothers’ side.

Phillip began taking care of his mom when he was just 20 years old and decided to put his own dreams of being a professional MMA fighter on pause when she got sick. The youngest of three siblings and the only one who was still living at home, he works two jobs to help support himself and his mother. 

The first month back in 2016 when Lynn was admitted into the hospital for a month, Phillip would go to work and then go straight to the hospital, stay the night and repeat this routine all over again.

Lynn hit a few bumps in the road and dealt with complications such as treating a blood fistula, pneumonia, shingles, and having seizures. And after three years of dialysis, the doctors determined she would need a kidney transplant and was finally eligible for one this year.

Ultimately, receiving the call that a kidney donor match had been found was a great relief for both Lynn and Phillip.

Before the call was made, however, Phillip had made the decision to go through testing to see if he would be a viable match for his mother. If only the Gabriel House didn’t require a caregiver- he said, he would have been more than happy to be his mother’s kidney donor.

Phillip shrugged nonchalantly and said, “After all- I have more than one kidney, and I would be okay. I would have been happy to do it.”

After Lynn is done with her checkups and recovery with us for a few more weeks, Phillip will take the necessary time off for the next three months to help his mom around this house and helping her post-transplant.

As someone who is so young, Phillip says he finds the strength within himself to help his mother through the excellent mentors he has had and the release he gets from competing in mixed martial arts and Kung Fu.

One of the biggest mentors and role models Phillip looks up to is his father. He passed away when Phillip was younger, but his fondest memories of his father were bonding over fights they would watch on TV, and glossing over old photos and memorabilia of when his dad was an MMA fighter as well.

Phillip’s other mentors include his current Kung Fu instructor and his old boss when he worked as a mechanic. They were available as avenues for Phillip to vent his frustrations to, and at end of their conversations would always end by practicing meditation or Tai Chi. Through these practices, he finds he is able to deal with his problems and calmly and rationally resolve them.

“If you just go with the flow, and take things slow as they come- things get easier to manage.” Phillip added, “It’s not really my personality to become angry either because it’s not very productive in any situation.”

For him balancing his mother’s care and day-to-day life is simple with his resolve and mentors to help create fine-tuned routines that enable him to manage his emotions and be the best caregiver he can to his mom.

Phillip is an inspiration to us all especially when it comes to his temperament and determination to balance his dreams and working full-time, all while being a caregiver to his mom.